To free yourself, not to excuse them.
Christians are called to follow the example of the Lord Jesus Christ who prayed “Father, forgive them” for those putting Him to death. They hadn’t asked for His forgiveness. But He gave it nonetheless. When we do likewise, we free ourselves from the toxic effects of bitterness and anger, trusting God to convict them and/or eventually set things right. “’It is mine to avenge. I will repay.’ Says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)
We must be careful not to confuse the act of forgiving an offense with the process of restoring a relationship. One party can forgive, whether or not it has been requested. But it takes the willingness of both parties to restore a relationship.
God offers forgiveness to all, as should we. But the other party must receive that forgiveness – something they can only do if they acknowledge the need.
As the story of the Prodigal Son shows us, even God Himself cannot fully restore a relationship. He waited for the son to “come to his senses” so that they could embrace in full reunion.
Giving forgiveness doesn’t excuse wrong behavior. It simply frees us from the life-draining bondage of resentment.