Our children can only learn what we teach them in a manner that will reach them. In other words, we need to vary our approach based upon their unique personality, learning style, and most importantly, stage of development. Children fall into one of three stages that should guide the methods we choose for discussing our faith and values at home.
THE IMPRINT PERIOD: Toddler to About Age Seven
Small children are all ears. They will believe it because mom or dad said it, much like a baby gosling that imprints itself onto its mother and follows it wherever she leads. Young children soak in what we tell them – so this is an ideal season for teaching them basic Bible stories, memorization, and other building block truths of Christianity.
THE IMPRESSION PERIOD: About Age Eight to Early Teen
During this season, children no longer accept what we say at face value. They may question us, push back, or even argue. During this season, children need to know what we believe. They also need help understanding the rationale behind those beliefs. While more work, this is a positive part of their faith development because it means they have grown past blind acceptance and are ready for deeper understanding. Take opportunities to have faith conversations and to weave holy habits in to the fabric of your home (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).
THE COACHING PERIOD: Early Teen to Young Adult
Our job changes when the kids enter the coaching period. We can motivate, encourage, challenge and advise. We can’t force feed. We can help them clearly articulate what they believe, challenge their thinking, remind them of the “basics” learned during the “practices” of the imprint and impression years. We can provide a safe environment for our teen to wrestle with, even question, the values they’ve learned. Maintaining strong relationship and frequent dialogue are the key to your influence now.
Understanding the different stages of development can help parents become intentional about creating and capturing opportunities to nurture the roots of faith in their children.